Making Friends as an Adult
You don't have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to making friends. It's as simple as looking through your contacts list. If you did last week's self-inventory of what kind of friend you are, you can probably start to look at a pattern on the kind of friend you've been, and maybe found out you could step up your game or perhaps you've been giving too much of your self. All of these discoveries help you become self-aware, emotional intelligent, and it could be the beginning or a great reminder to start setting your limits and create better boundaries. Armed with this knowledge you can look at your contact list objectively and start evaluating whether you keep your friends because they are actually friends (based on last weeks responses) or if you keep them around for another reason.
I do consider myself pretty gutsy or brave but as a young girl, I wasn't encouraged to be brave. I did this to myself. I put it in my head early on that I had something to prove. This made me your typical tomboy which lead to mostly playing with boys and as we all know boys play differently than girls. I used to climb walls, jump fences (I still have a scar on my leg), race each other, wrestle (until my mom told me not to do it, "No se juega así con los niños" she said) and finally, tag.
This TED talk by Caroline Paul resonates with me because I've always been told by both men and women that I'm brave but I've never felt brave. I just felt normal. I sometimes thought something was wrong with me because so many people would point that out about me. Maybe I'm just not cautious enough or maybe I don't really care about what others think. Whatever the reason or my upbringing it served its purpose and it continues to so. I could only imagine what I would have accomplished with a little more support from home! Whoa! Here's a great listen (or read) from Caroline Paul, author of "The Gutsy Girl: Escapades for Your Life of Epic Adventure", talk about how to raise brave girls. What will you be doing to practice being brave this week? Maybe speak up for yourself or others? or try something new and out of your comfort zone?
When my clients come to me they are usually in a frantic state. They’re overwhelmed by their current life situation which spans from very personal issues like break-ups or work related stressors like dealing with a disorganized manager or out of reach deadlines. Whatever the worry, my clients most usually forget to count their blessings. What I mean is that they are not living in the moment, THIS MOMENT. They are worried about the future and the past therefore not even noticing that right now is what they have. They are not appreciating the space they are in. Even in the most difficult of times there are always silver linings. You just have to consistently practice finding them. If they are not here right now, they are not living. They are caught in a web of lies that can only be released by allowing the now to happen. The now will only happen if you are appreciating the now. Everyone needs a little jump start so I remind them of the things to be grateful for. I do an exercise with them that I learned a long time ago and practice it when I need a reality check. I used to do it daily and it really works. It begins to shift your mind so you can be present now and appreciate what you have and be in a gratitude mindset which shifts everything, our minds, bodies, our nerves! This is how it´s done. You can also listen to me explain how it´s done at the bottom.
Behavior Analyst and Personal Life Coach. Changing behavior one step at a time. Keeping things simple because it's easier that way.