Make the Call
The last of this month's topic: Making friends and connections is Make The Call.
I share one last ingredient to use when you're out making new friends and networking.
I know, I know. you're going to say, "Lisette, I like spending time by myself so I don't need to do this." Cool, congratulations! You're at the prime of your life but don't forget life ebbs and flows so maybe you're good now but maybe one day, you find yourself in a different stage. You never know but as long as you know how to get back on horse then for me, that's a win.
Here are the steps plus the secret sauce to any social or networking!
Before making the call:
Think of ideas of where and your availability
Make a list of the places that you've enjoyed and are quiet enough for you both to talk. If nothing comes up then research places.
Make a list of times that you have available for socializing or connecting.
Go for it.
Make the call or text THIS WILL take guts (bravery and courage) and vulnerability.
Don't think too much about it but if you are thinking too much about it then relax by knowing the following:
If they say they can't or busy, it's cool. Take it as face value. Nothing personal. Ya esta!
If they say yes, then take it for what it is. YES, they want to grab coffee or a bite with you.
Don't cancel. If you got this far it's because you wanted to get on this stage BUT...
If you're entire being is screaming to cancel... sit with that thought and dissect it
Am I just nervous? This is normal.
Am I rusty at making new friends and connections? Probably.
Am I nervous because I'm rusty? Normal and Probably.
Maybe you realized that you don't want to talk to this friend at this point in your life. If so, then cancel and redo the worksheets.
At the date: **SECRET SAUCE**
Be genuinely interested: be present and use active listening
This means you're going to ask questions and learn about your friend.
If you're not comfortable with this then I'd suggest that you sit with yourself after and find out why (see questions above).
Note, this secret sauce of being genuinely interested works in networking, too. I advice all my clients that this is the best way to network, socialize and make connections but there is a fine line with being fake. Don't be fake! Practice is key to making sure you're not a fake-ass when it comes to socializing and networking.
Also, being uncomfortable is part of trying something new or something that you haven't tried in a long time. I've heard this a thousand times, "Oh, I didn't realize I was this rusty!" and you know what goes through my head, "They just haven't practiced this in a while or ever". Taking even a small leap out of your comfort zone will produce some emotion. Expect it, enjoy feeling something and practice this often to get used to it.
"Lisette, why this topic at all?" For many, creating connections is important as they don't have family or siblings they can rely on. This is where you get to choose your family and it comes from making friends. Also, this isn't comfortable and this by far is the number one reason why clients seek my services. They want to feel confident interacting with others whether it be future clients, friends, or simply changing their mind about how they interact and relate with personal relationships RIGHT NOW! They want to see massive changes in their lives and want to feel in control and happy about their lives RIGHT NOW.
If you know that you lack social skills or aren't at all a networking pro but want to be book a call to see how you can start seeing massive gains for social and networking growth right now. Isn't the freedom of knowing that you're finally going to take control of your life right now worth it? You know it is.
Behavior Analyst and Personal Life Coach. Changing behavior one step at a time. Keeping things simple because it's easier that way.